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Uncle Duke

Uncle Duke is a fictional character in the comic strip Doonesbury. He is nominally Zonker Harris's uncle, although early in the Doonesbury continuity he was established as a Harris family friend. Duke was heavily based on gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson (see Raoul Duke).

Some people regard Uncle Duke, a rabid controlled-substances buff, as "the High Lord of Inner Space," but he is really a hard-working individual with a love of people and a dry wit.

Duke's early life is murky, but it is almost certain that he had a father, and was born in a hospital. "Duke" was the only name he was ever given.

At some point he acquired a dislike for John Denver.

Duke began his illustrious career working as a writer at Rolling Stone. He was then appointed Governor of American Samoa, which led to a post as Ambassador to the China, where he met Honey Huan , his future aide and devoted companion. Following his "triumph" in Peking, Mr. Duke enjoyed a brief career as a laetrile farmer. He then made a name for himself as General Manager of the Washington Redskins. His experience packing heat led him to serve as a lobbyist for the NRA, followed by some work in Iran for Universal Petroleum. After bargaining for his life before a firing squad, Duke disappeared for 17 months, then surfaced as "the 53rd hostage" of the Iran hostage crisis of 1979. Upon release he settled down as a drug smuggler in Florida, a career cut short by an ill-fated sightseeing cruise to the Falklands War. Following his rescue from Matagorda Island, Duke became entangled in Hollywood politics, the John De Lorean story, and a major cocaine bust.

Fleeing to Haiti, he opened the Baby Doc College of Offshore Medicine. Discovered more inert than usual one morning, he was pronounced dead. Fortunately it was soon discovered that Duke was not dead, only zombified, and sold into slavery as Legume, losing nearly all his hair in the process. His adopted nephew, Zonker Harris arranged to buy him back and he was soon back on his feet. After losing his condom company (Dr. Whoopee), Duke took a much-deserved rest in Bellevue, returned to active duty as captain of Donald Trump's executive cruise ship, the Trump Princess, then rescued his former translator Honey Huan from China.

Tapped by President George H. W. Bush to serve as Maximum Proconsul in post-invasion Panama, he smuggled guns to the Kuwaiti resistance, then opened Club Scud, a popular wartime watering hole in Kuwait City. After working on David Duke's campaign, he opened a low budget orphanage titled "Nothing But Orphans." One of his first charges, according to the DNA test results, was one of his long-lost sons, Earl. Abandoning the orphans and Ms. Huan, father and son lived in a trailer in Las Vegas, gaming and trafficking in stolen Beanie Babies.

Duke ran for the White House after a short stretch as a key advisor to Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura. His campaign, headquartered in a motel in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, was a resounding failure, despite corporate sponsorships by heavy hitters Lipton Tea and Absolut Vodka. (Through the magic of technology, Duke was able to announce his candidacy in the real world on Larry King Live.) A successful business trafficking in stem cells was followed by a lucrative involvement in the messy fallout from the Enron scandal. As conflict with Iraq loomed, Duke made a return to government work, taking up a post as Viceroy-in-Waiting.

During the U.S. occupation of Iraq, Duke installed himself as mayor of Al Amok.


Last updated: 02-22-2005 02:26:39