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Toilet humour

Public reference to bodily functions such as urination and defecation is taboo in many cultures and thus arouses intense anxiety in many people. For this reason, there is a whole sub-genre of humour, toilet humour (also potty humour or bathroom humour) based around excretion. This genre is particularly popular with children.

Many artists have made their names promulgating toilet humour:

  • Much of the lyrical content of avant garde rock musician Frank Zappa's songs revolved around toilet humour, for example, "Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow" (from the album Apostrophe ).
  • The humour of the animated series South Park also consists largely of toilet humour, even going so far as to have a talking piece of excrement as a recurring character.
  • Dr. Slump, a manga from Akira Toriyama (the creator of Dragon Ball), also had a strong scatological bent.
  • The Private Eye comic strip Barry McKenzie written by Barry Humphries and drawn by Nicholas Garland are a treasure trove of chundering, parking the tiger, splashing the boots, and draining the dragon, with much of the allegedly Australian slang created by Humphries himself.
  • Ubu Roi by Alfred Jarry, translated as King Turd, opens with the line "Merdre!" (translated as "Shitter!") and is filled with scatological humor. Now regarded as one of the first examples of the Theater of the Absurd, Jarry was only 14 years old when he began it as a spoof of one of his teachers.
  • The adult comic magazine VIZ has, over 25 years, built a publishing empire from toilet humour.

Toilet humour also refers to jokes around modesty, such as if one is seen naked or in his/her undergarments. It can also refer to jokes revolving around the incontinence of infants and young children or the aged or infirm. Jokes about wedgies and tighty-whitey underpants also fall in this category.

Constipation is another source of toilet humor. Screamin' Jay Hawkins recorded his "Constipation Blues" with his trademark yells after his first bout with blockage and the Bonzo Dog Band recorded "The Strain" on the same topic and with many of the same sound effects.

Contents

Euphemisms and witticisms

Many forms of toilet humour involve euphemisms for excretion, such as the following:

Urination

  • Shitting Piss Ass Fartclown
  • Freshen my Snapple
  • Bleeding the Lizard
  • Breaking the seal
  • Change water on the goldfish
  • Do a wee
  • Draining the dragon
  • Draining the main vein
  • Draining the radiator
  • Draining the one-eyed monster
  • Draining down the system
  • Go pee pee
  • Going to see a man about a dog
  • Going to water my horse
  • Leak the lizard
  • Lower the water level
  • Number one
  • Pass water
  • Piddle (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
  • Pit stop
  • Pointing Percy at the porcelain
  • Punish the porcelain
  • Release the pressure
  • Refresh the body
  • Relieve yourself
  • Seeing a man about a dog (or a horse)
  • Shaking hands with the vicar
  • Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
  • Shaking the dew off the lily
  • Siphon the python
  • Spend a penny
  • Sprinkle
  • Steering Stanley to the stainless steel
  • Syphon the python
  • Taking a leak
  • Taking a pee
  • Taking a piss (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
  • Taking a slash
  • Taking a whiz
  • Tinkle
  • Training Thomas on the terracotta
  • Twinkle
  • Visit Uncle Charley
  • Void my bladder
  • Going to walk my snake
  • Water my weasel
  • Write my name in the water

Defecation

  • Taking a Ron Jeifler
  • Faxing a shit to the toiletmachineberg
  • De-corking the borking
  • Dropping the Mexican Boll Weevil
  • Drinking From the Goblet of Man Love
  • Squirt juice
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos
  • Assfire
  • Cripping A Crapple
  • Monopoly!
  • Tuesday Afternoons
  • Poop McFartlene
  • Dr.Benjamin Fartlin
  • Giving birth to the black eel
  • Backing the big brown motorhome out of the garage
  • Dropping a dook
  • Releasing a depth charge
  • Doing some spring cleaning
  • Back one out
  • Blasting a dookie
  • Boo-Boo
  • Ca-Ca
  • Curling one off
  • Cutting rope
  • Poo-Poo
  • Doo-Doo
  • Doodey
  • Download a brownload
  • Dropping anchor
  • Dropping the weights
  • Dropping a bomb
  • Dropping a deuce
  • Dropping a hoopsnake
  • Dropping a jolst
  • Dropping bass ("base" as in the opposite of treble. Not the fish.)
  • Dropping some friends off at the pool
  • Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
  • Dropping the kids off at the pool
  • Feeding the seagulls (politer version of "Feeding the shitehawks")
  • Filling the bowl
  • Giving birth
  • Going Boom Boom
  • Going poop
  • Launching torpedoes
  • Laying a brick
  • Laying a cable
  • Laying a Hank
  • Laying a turd
  • Lose some weight (Also used in urination)
  • Making a tail
  • Making logs (or a log)
  • Making waves
  • Makin' bears
  • Number two (a portable toilet company advertises itself as "Number One in Number Two".)
  • Pebble-dashing the porcelain
  • Pinching off a loaf
  • Pinching a yam
  • Strangling a darky
  • Taking a brew
  • Taking a crap (see also Mr. Thomas Crapper)
  • Taking a dump
  • Taking a poo
  • Taking a shit (a coarse expression, not a euphemism)
  • Taking the Browns to the Superbowl
  • Taking the Cosby kids to the pool
  • Taking the morning curl
  • Unloading a batch of cigars
  • Poopy Woo
  • Going to meet Jim Davidson

Flatulence / Farting

  • Let one off
  • Launch one off
  • Let one go
  • Explosion between the legs
  • Killing the barking spiders (helps if you stomp)
  • Letting the Wookie win
  • Blowing out the colon
  • Censored page thunder
  • Ass-music
  • Fart
  • Beef-cloud
  • Blow a big one
  • Blow off
  • Booty burp
  • Break wind
  • Churning urn of burning funk
  • Bust ass
  • Choke a donkey
  • Crop Dusting (while walking)
  • Chemical warfare
  • Cut the cheese
  • Drop one's guts (as in "Who dropped their guts?")
  • Erupting the anal volcano
  • Give birth to a brown baby ghost
  • Grunt (as in "Who grunted?")
  • Honking for clearance
  • Launching a growler
  • Let off a howler
  • Let off a stinker
  • Rip one
  • Man Queef (Extremely vulgar)
  • Message from below
  • Number four
  • Pass gas
  • Pass wind
  • Dirty bomb
  • Trouser cough
  • Woofie

Vomiting

  • Barfing
  • Be the mother bird
  • Blowing chunks
  • Bow down before the porcelain god (On some occasions, the worshipper vows to the god never to drink again.)
  • Calling Huey (or Ralph) on the big white phone
  • Catch it on the rebound
  • Chow
  • Chunder
  • Cook up a pavement pizza
  • Cry Ruth
  • Date Porcelain Patty
  • Driving the Buick to Europe
  • Driving the porcelain bus
  • Feed the fish (when seasick)
  • Feed your young (like a mother bird regurgitates food for her chicks)
  • Food Escape!
  • Hurling
  • Jackson Pollock
  • Lose your lunch
  • Make a hideous jiffy bag
  • Make like Mount St. Helens
  • Number three
  • Paint the sidewalk
  • Pray at the white temple
  • Ralphing
  • Regurgitate
  • Reverse-drink (from the Thunder Mug)
  • Revisit dinner
  • Park the tiger
  • Pulling the trigger (intentionally vomiting)
  • Puking
  • Snow bank pizza
  • Soul coughing
  • Spewing
  • Splatterhouse
  • Spraying McDonalds (as in "Did somebody spray McDonalds?")
  • Talking on the porcelain telephone
  • Talking to the weeds
  • Technicolour yawn
  • Throwing up
  • Un-eat
  • Upchuck
  • Yakking
  • Yorxing

Ambiguous

The following are used as intentionally ambiguous terms for a visit to a bathroom/toilet to urinate, defecate, or both:

  • Finishing up some paper-work (wiping)
  • Going to hit the head (Naval Term)
  • Going to the can
  • Going to the little boys'/girls' room (mostly in American English)
  • Going to the loo (UK)
  • Going to the bathroom (US)
  • Going to the "office" (or "cubicle")
  • Going where even the king goes alone
  • Going where even the emperor must go on foot
  • Paying a visit
  • Powdering one's nose
  • Taking a biological break
  • Taking a constitutional
  • Using the facilities
  • Using the plumbing
  • Answering nature's call
  • Seeing Mrs. Murphy
  • Visiting Mr. Limbaugh

See also


Last updated: 02-10-2005 06:13:47
Last updated: 02-27-2005 19:14:39