Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers is a comedy recording made by The Firesign Theatre in 1970. Released at the height of their popularity, it is considered by many to be their best work, and in any case is one of their most representative.

The piece centers on the character of George Leroy Tirebiter (played by David Ossman), a former child actor watching himself on late-night television.

Along the way, one hears "excerpts" from the fictional movie High School Madness "starring" Tirebiter, a parody of the Andy Hardy films and of 1940s youth in general, interspersed with commercials and other staples of late-night television as Tirebiter randomly changes channels.

Ultimately, the piece is about the universal experience of channel-surfing, being only partly concerned with the subjective experience of the main character.

The catch phrase, "This is UTV, for you, the viewer!" was eerily prophetic of what in the following decade would become standard television viewing habits for Americans, after the rise of cable television.

Origin of the name

There was a real George Tirebiter, who was a dog. In 1946, a mongrel whose owner had died wandered onto the campus of the University of Southern California and was adopted by the students as an unofficial mascot. The mutt acquired a reputation for chasing cars, hence the name. The dog became so famous that at one point he was kidnaped by rival students from UCLA, who shaved their school's letters into his fur. In 1950 his car-chasing career came to an end when he was run over.

While all this was going on, a young David Ossman lived nearby. No one could have foreseen that the boy would revive the name 20 years later as that of a classic comedy character. It is a typical example of why Firesign humor appealed especially to college students.